I need to disappear for a few weeks. Recent events have pushed me way beyond any healthy equilibrium and there are too many distractions that are pushing me further away from equilibrium. I need to escape and shut myself off from the world for a while to sort my head out and to concentrate on what needs to be done. So I'm sorry if I ignore anyone's calls or emails. I don't even know why I'm saying all this, but maybe because I need a good rant. Anyhow, that'll be the last post until next month.
I'll be back...
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Saturday, January 3, 2009
誰かの願いが叶うころ
宇多田 ヒカル
小さなことで大事なものを失った
冷たい指輪が私に光ってみせた
「今さえあればいい」と言ったけど そうじゃなかった
あなたへ続くドアが音も無く消えた
あなたの幸せ願うほど わがままが増えてくよ
それでもあなたを引き止めたい いつだってそう
誰かの願いが叶うころ あの子が泣いてるよ
そのまま扉の音は鳴らない
みんなに必要とされる君を癒せるたった一人に
なりたくて少し我慢し過ぎたな
自分の幸せ願うこと わがままではないでしょ
それならあなたを抱き寄せたい できるだけぎゅっと
私の涙が乾くころ あの子が泣いてるよ
このまま僕らの地面は乾かない
あなたの幸せ願うほど わがままが増えてくよ
あなたは私を引き止めない いつだってそう
誰かの願いが叶うころ あの子が泣いてるよ
みんなの願いは同時には叶わない
小さな地球が回るほど 優しさが身に付くよ
もう一度あなたを抱き締めたい できるだけ
そっと
to wish for our own happiness isn't selfish right?....
小さなことで大事なものを失った
冷たい指輪が私に光ってみせた
「今さえあればいい」と言ったけど そうじゃなかった
あなたへ続くドアが音も無く消えた
あなたの幸せ願うほど わがままが増えてくよ
それでもあなたを引き止めたい いつだってそう
誰かの願いが叶うころ あの子が泣いてるよ
そのまま扉の音は鳴らない
みんなに必要とされる君を癒せるたった一人に
なりたくて少し我慢し過ぎたな
自分の幸せ願うこと わがままではないでしょ
それならあなたを抱き寄せたい できるだけぎゅっと
私の涙が乾くころ あの子が泣いてるよ
このまま僕らの地面は乾かない
あなたの幸せ願うほど わがままが増えてくよ
あなたは私を引き止めない いつだってそう
誰かの願いが叶うころ あの子が泣いてるよ
みんなの願いは同時には叶わない
小さな地球が回るほど 優しさが身に付くよ
もう一度あなたを抱き締めたい できるだけ
そっと
to wish for our own happiness isn't selfish right?....
Friday, January 2, 2009
random quote
This great evil,
Where does it come from?
How did it steal into the world?
What seed, what root did it grow from?
Who's doing this? Who's killing us?
Robbing us of life and light.
Mocking us with the sight of what we might have known.
Does our rule benefit the Earth?
Does it help the grass to grow or the sun to shine?
Is this darkness in you too?
Have you passed through this night?
How did it steal into the world?
What seed, what root did it grow from?
Who's doing this? Who's killing us?
Robbing us of life and light.
Mocking us with the sight of what we might have known.
Does our rule benefit the Earth?
Does it help the grass to grow or the sun to shine?
Is this darkness in you too?
Have you passed through this night?
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Humbled...
Although everyone probably knows this, we often don't think about it too much - the road to greatness is tough and filled with hard-work and sacrifice. I certainly knew this and have mentioned it before, but until I recently begun to attempt "my path", I didn't think it was going to require this much work. I have nothing but all the respect in the world for all those who have come before me and for those brave souls who will attempt this path too.
Guess that's really all I wanted to say. Work my ass off and hope for the best.
Listening:
Mogwai - Mr. Beast
Guess that's really all I wanted to say. Work my ass off and hope for the best.
Listening:
Mogwai - Mr. Beast
Von
We've turned the page my friends. Happy New Year! :) And it's snowing! A new blank white page to fill with our stories. I hope we'll all have good stories to fill our page with this year! *knock on wood*
Von..... hope, my friends.
Cheers my good friends. I wish you good health and all the best in the new year! :)
John
Listening:
Explosions in the Sky - How Strange, Innocence
Reading:
Chemistry textbooks ;)
Von..... hope, my friends.
Cheers my good friends. I wish you good health and all the best in the new year! :)
John
Listening:
Explosions in the Sky - How Strange, Innocence
Reading:
Chemistry textbooks ;)
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Christmas... white out... wish you were here
I hope everyone had an awesome Christmas. For those of you who are away, Vancouver had a crazy dump of snow for the past 2 weeks and it's been a mixed blessing. It looks pretty, but it makes commuting extremely difficult since no one out here, the city support staff included, is prepared for this amount of snowfall.
I tried my best to have a nice Christmas. The stroll to the park helped. It was nice to stroll around in the serene snowy fields which were giant white fluffy canvases ready to be rolled around in and shaped. It was as if I ran into a giant piece of blank paper on which I could write a new story and for the briefest of moments be free to think happy thoughts. Heck, the clouds managed not to spoil the moment by letting the warm winter rays of the sun to shine through. And as it often happens (more like everyday), in the middle of all that fun, I started to miss someone very dear to me and wished she could have been there to share that brief moment of joy with me. As I was leaving the park, my brother told me to stop because he found a bottle in the snow and when I turned around I saw the name "JENNY" written in the snow.
Anyhow, that's all I had to say about Christmas this year. I hope everyone had a nice warm Christmas!
I'm working on a bigger post about the year and will post later when I have time to finish it.
Cheerios!
Listening:
Sigur Ros - Heim/Hvarf
Thursday/Envy - Split EP
Dustin Kensrue - This Good Night is Still Everywhere
The Gaslight Anthem - '59 Sound
Mono & World's End Girlfriend - Palmess Prayer/Mass Murder Refrain
Envy - Insomniac Doze
Thrice - Red Sky EP
Reading:
Physics and Chemistry textbooks..... yeah.....
Saturday, October 18, 2008
An uncertain future in an uncertain world
This past Tuesday, Canadians had their 3rd federal election in roughly 4 years and by the time the last ballots were counted in the wee hours of the following morning, we voted in another Conservative Minority government. Unfortunately, voter turnout was a pathetic 59% and we'll never know what might have happened if all eligible voters had gone to the polls. I'm not only disappointed that so many of my fellow Canadians did not turn up to vote, but I'm also disappointed in the way we voted.
I'm disappointed that Canadians seem to be putting their wallets ahead of the environment and their children's and grandchildren's futures. I still think Stephane Dion and the Liberals had a good sound plan for dealing with climate change in their Greenshift plan, except the only problem was it called for a new Carbon Tax and most Canadians, without understanding the entire plan, condemned it because it had a new tax. If most of them had bothered looking up the plan and reading it, they would've realized that it would've been offset by income tax cuts. Global warming is real and most people are too ignorant to realize that its impact is very immediate - large hunks of polar ice in the Arctic Ocean and Anarctica are melting and breaking off ice shelves as you read. It saddens me that people can't put aside religious, economic, social and political differences to tackle this environmental crisis. I think those of us who are knowledgable on the topic of Global Warming must continue to educate those who do not understand the issue and perhaps then more Canadians, and hopefully citizens of other countries, will ask themselves "What is the point of having a steamrolling economy when we have destroyed our only home?". Most argue that the Greenshift and sudden "fixes" for the environment will damage or destroy the economy. However, as I stated above, what good is the economy if we have no home? Do people not realize that this is not only an opportunity to help correct our environmental wrongs of the past BUT also an opportunity to progress humanity towards a green economy of the future?
Canada has the brilliant minds and the technological know-how to become global leaders in the green economy of the future. If we "shift" now, it may hurt our economy in the immediate future, but in the long run, we'll be ready to provide and sell the technology we develop and our expertise to other nations who are making their shifts. I just wished more people could be a little more selfless and have a little more foresight, then maybe we wouldn't be in the pickle that we're in now.
Anyhow, that's my sleep-deprived rant of the day before I go to bed.
One last thing... uncertainty in our futures... sometimes I feel I'm cursed or something. It seems like everyone I care about goes away... more on that later though.
Listening:
Nightwish - Dark Passion Play
Senses Fail - Life is not a Waiting Room
Thrice - Vheissu
Reading:
My Years as Prime Minister - Jean Chretien (re-reading)
Neverwhere - Neil Gaiman
Why Do Men Have Nipples? - Mark Leyner and Billy Goldberg, M.D.
I'm disappointed that Canadians seem to be putting their wallets ahead of the environment and their children's and grandchildren's futures. I still think Stephane Dion and the Liberals had a good sound plan for dealing with climate change in their Greenshift plan, except the only problem was it called for a new Carbon Tax and most Canadians, without understanding the entire plan, condemned it because it had a new tax. If most of them had bothered looking up the plan and reading it, they would've realized that it would've been offset by income tax cuts. Global warming is real and most people are too ignorant to realize that its impact is very immediate - large hunks of polar ice in the Arctic Ocean and Anarctica are melting and breaking off ice shelves as you read. It saddens me that people can't put aside religious, economic, social and political differences to tackle this environmental crisis. I think those of us who are knowledgable on the topic of Global Warming must continue to educate those who do not understand the issue and perhaps then more Canadians, and hopefully citizens of other countries, will ask themselves "What is the point of having a steamrolling economy when we have destroyed our only home?". Most argue that the Greenshift and sudden "fixes" for the environment will damage or destroy the economy. However, as I stated above, what good is the economy if we have no home? Do people not realize that this is not only an opportunity to help correct our environmental wrongs of the past BUT also an opportunity to progress humanity towards a green economy of the future?
Canada has the brilliant minds and the technological know-how to become global leaders in the green economy of the future. If we "shift" now, it may hurt our economy in the immediate future, but in the long run, we'll be ready to provide and sell the technology we develop and our expertise to other nations who are making their shifts. I just wished more people could be a little more selfless and have a little more foresight, then maybe we wouldn't be in the pickle that we're in now.
Anyhow, that's my sleep-deprived rant of the day before I go to bed.
One last thing... uncertainty in our futures... sometimes I feel I'm cursed or something. It seems like everyone I care about goes away... more on that later though.
Listening:
Nightwish - Dark Passion Play
Senses Fail - Life is not a Waiting Room
Thrice - Vheissu
Reading:
My Years as Prime Minister - Jean Chretien (re-reading)
Neverwhere - Neil Gaiman
Why Do Men Have Nipples? - Mark Leyner and Billy Goldberg, M.D.
Sunday, October 5, 2008
No matters what happens now...
The other day at work, I was talking to a co-worker about Radiohead and I mentioned that I really liked "Videotape", but ironically I haven't listened to it since I picked up In Rainbows nearly a year ago. So tonight, I decided to give it the album a spin and "Videotape" seems to be the perfect conclusion to an album, and I taught myself the song on piano. The lyrics are quite depressing... will we ever find the perfect day so we won't be afraid anymore? I guess, I should rephrase that as "will I ever find the perfect day so I won't have to be afraid...?"
When I'm at the pearly gates
This'll be on my videotape
My videotape
When Mephistopheles is just beneath
And he's reaching up to grab me
This is one for the good days
And I have it all here
In red blue green
Red blue green
You are my centre when I spin away
Out of control on videotape
On videotape
This is my way of saying goodbye
Because I can't do it face to face
Or talking to you after it's too late, from my videotape
No matter what happens now
I won't be afraid
Because I know today has been the most perfect day I've ever seen.
When I'm at the pearly gates
This'll be on my videotape
My videotape
When Mephistopheles is just beneath
And he's reaching up to grab me
This is one for the good days
And I have it all here
In red blue green
Red blue green
You are my centre when I spin away
Out of control on videotape
On videotape
This is my way of saying goodbye
Because I can't do it face to face
Or talking to you after it's too late, from my videotape
No matter what happens now
I won't be afraid
Because I know today has been the most perfect day I've ever seen.
Monday, September 8, 2008
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Courage and peace in the face of defeat
This is not an exaggerated tale of an old man finding courage and peace in the face of defeat. It does not involve an epic battle between an old man, a marlin and later sharks. Instead, it is simply a tale of an ordinary old man, accepting and finding peace as he loses his courageous fight with cancer.
Three years ago, as he was diagnosed with terminal non-small cell carcinoma in his lungs, the hopelessness and fear that emanated from his face will forever be etched into my memories. His prognosis was not good and the old man was initially given two years to live, but it then dwindled to a year and finally down to three months as he seemed to have lost hope and became burdened with the thoughts of death. However, just as everything seemed hopeless, he tried a new doctor and the doctor gave him a new anti-cancer drug. Soon, his condition stabilized and his cancer was eventually controlled; it was not cured, but for the time it was not spreading or growing. Instead of three months, the old man has now lived for three years.
But as it often is in life, all things must come to an end, and the old man's cancer now stopped responding to the medicine and the doctors had let him know that there is nothing left they could do for him and that he'll have three to four months left. I was saddened by the news and went to visit the old man. We talked about recent events, the Olympics, my plans for the future, and other things an old man would ask a young man. Unlike three years ago when he was told for the first time that he would have three months to live where he looked hopeless and defeated, something had changed about him. Three years later, as he was again told that he will have three to four months to live and this will probably be it because there's medically nothing more they can do to help him, hopelessness and defeat cannot be seen in his face. Instead, even with his hostile predicament, he exuded an air of serenity and peace that I've never seen in another human being before. It appears as though in the three years that medical science has afforded him, he has come to accept his condition and has come to peace with himself. And though he appears to have accepted his eventual defeat, there is such courage in his eyes as he awaits it.
He's no superhero, but gracefully and peacefully finding courage in the face of defeat requires an awful lot of valor and dignity. I have learned many lessons from this old man, but these are perhaps some of the most important ones in life.
Three years ago, as he was diagnosed with terminal non-small cell carcinoma in his lungs, the hopelessness and fear that emanated from his face will forever be etched into my memories. His prognosis was not good and the old man was initially given two years to live, but it then dwindled to a year and finally down to three months as he seemed to have lost hope and became burdened with the thoughts of death. However, just as everything seemed hopeless, he tried a new doctor and the doctor gave him a new anti-cancer drug. Soon, his condition stabilized and his cancer was eventually controlled; it was not cured, but for the time it was not spreading or growing. Instead of three months, the old man has now lived for three years.
But as it often is in life, all things must come to an end, and the old man's cancer now stopped responding to the medicine and the doctors had let him know that there is nothing left they could do for him and that he'll have three to four months left. I was saddened by the news and went to visit the old man. We talked about recent events, the Olympics, my plans for the future, and other things an old man would ask a young man. Unlike three years ago when he was told for the first time that he would have three months to live where he looked hopeless and defeated, something had changed about him. Three years later, as he was again told that he will have three to four months to live and this will probably be it because there's medically nothing more they can do to help him, hopelessness and defeat cannot be seen in his face. Instead, even with his hostile predicament, he exuded an air of serenity and peace that I've never seen in another human being before. It appears as though in the three years that medical science has afforded him, he has come to accept his condition and has come to peace with himself. And though he appears to have accepted his eventual defeat, there is such courage in his eyes as he awaits it.
He's no superhero, but gracefully and peacefully finding courage in the face of defeat requires an awful lot of valor and dignity. I have learned many lessons from this old man, but these are perhaps some of the most important ones in life.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
