Thursday, July 31, 2008

Solar Plexus

For the past 6 weeks, every night as I have tried to fall asleep, I always thought the same thoughts. I've even had similar dreams for the past 6 weeks and more infrequently, the same dream for the past 4 years. Now that I live in the aftermath of having that dream shattered. As confused and unsure as I am about everything outside of academia, this was one of the only things I was never confused about, and yet this belief of mine is probably wrong. Oh life, why do you have to deal repeated blows to my head? Life always seems to happen like that, just when you start thinking "maybe everything will be alright now," it punches you in the solar plexus and you're left winded on the ground trying to pick yourself up.

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Get busy living, or get busy dying.

It really comes down to a simple choice. Get busy living or get busy dying...

Saturday, July 5, 2008

forgive me dear, for I am a fool...

I like many who have come and gone before me, have had amazing people, love and happiness right under my nose yet have failed to recognize that in my quest to find whatever it is I'm looking for. The realization that we already have what we're looking for right before our very eyes often escape us...

Siddhartha said: "What could I say to you, Venerable One? Perhaps that you are seeking too hard? That you seek so hard that you do not find?"

"What do you mean?" asked Govinda.

"When someone seeks," said Siddhartha, "then it easily happens that his eyes see only the thing that he seeks, and he is able to find nothing, to take in nothing because he always thinks only about the thing he is seeking, because he has one goal, because he is obsessed with his goal. Seeking means having a goal. But finding means: being free, being open, having no goal. You, Venerable One, may truly be a seeker, for, in striving toward your goal, you fail to see certain things that are right under your nose."

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Caged birds...

Sometimes it makes me sad, the thought of you being gone. I have to remind myself that some birds aren't meant to be caged, their feathers are just too bright. And when they fly away, the part of me that knows it was a sin to lock them does rejoice, but still, the place I live in is just that much more drab and empty with them gone. I think I'll just miss you...