Merry Christmas

I'm gonna start posting here again. Semi-regularly. Anyhow, Merry Christmas to all. Here is a piece of sage wisdom that I just read from George Carlin. Enjoy. Peace.

A life message from George Carlin

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom. We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbour. We conquered outer space but not inner space.

We've done larger things, but not better things. We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete.

Remember, spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever. Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.

Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.

Remember, to say, "I love you" to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you. Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again. Give time to love, give time to speak, and give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

HOW TO STAY YOUNG

1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctor worry about them. That is why you pay him/her.
2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.
3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. " An idle mind is the devil's workshop." And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.
4. Enjoy the simple things.
5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.
7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.
8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.
9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, to the next county, to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.
10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take,
but by the moments that take our breath away."

-George Carlin

escape artists never die

I need to disappear for a few weeks. Recent events have pushed me way beyond any healthy equilibrium and there are too many distractions that are pushing me further away from equilibrium. I need to escape and shut myself off from the world for a while to sort my head out and to concentrate on what needs to be done. So I'm sorry if I ignore anyone's calls or emails. I don't even know why I'm saying all this, but maybe because I need a good rant. Anyhow, that'll be the last post until next month.

I'll be back...

誰かの願いが叶うころ

宇多田 ヒカル

小さなことで大事なものを失った
冷たい指輪が私に光ってみせた
「今さえあればいい」と言ったけど　そうじゃなかった
あなたへ続くドアが音も無く消えた

あなたの幸せ願うほど　わがままが増えてくよ
それでもあなたを引き止めたい　いつだってそう
誰かの願いが叶うころ　あの子が泣いてるよ
そのまま扉の音は鳴らない

みんなに必要とされる君を癒せるたった一人に
なりたくて少し我慢し過ぎたな

自分の幸せ願うこと　わがままではないでしょ
それならあなたを抱き寄せたい　できるだけぎゅっと
私の涙が乾くころ　あの子が泣いてるよ
このまま僕らの地面は乾かない

あなたの幸せ願うほど　わがままが増えてくよ
あなたは私を引き止めない　いつだってそう
誰かの願いが叶うころ　あの子が泣いてるよ
みんなの願いは同時には叶わない

小さな地球が回るほど　優しさが身に付くよ
もう一度あなたを抱き締めたい　できるだけ
そっと


to wish for our own happiness isn't selfish right?....

random quote

This great evil,

Where does it come from?
How did it steal into the world?
What seed, what root did it grow from?
Who's doing this? Who's killing us?
Robbing us of life and light.
Mocking us with the sight of what we might have known.
Does our rule benefit the Earth?
Does it help the grass to grow or the sun to shine?
Is this darkness in you too?

Have you passed through this night?

Humbled...

Although everyone probably knows this, we often don't think about it too much - the road to greatness is tough and filled with hard-work and sacrifice. I certainly knew this and have mentioned it before, but until I recently begun to attempt "my path", I didn't think it was going to require this much work. I have nothing but all the respect in the world for all those who have come before me and for those brave souls who will attempt this path too.

Guess that's really all I wanted to say. Work my ass off and hope for the best.

Listening:

Mogwai - Mr. Beast

Von

We've turned the page my friends. Happy New Year! :) And it's snowing! A new blank white page to fill with our stories. I hope we'll all have good stories to fill our page with this year! *knock on wood*

Von..... hope, my friends.

Cheers my good friends. I wish you good health and all the best in the new year! :)

John

Listening:

Explosions in the Sky - How Strange, Innocence

Reading:

Chemistry textbooks ;)

Christmas... white out... wish you were here

I hope everyone had an awesome Christmas. For those of you who are away, Vancouver had a crazy dump of snow for the past 2 weeks and it's been a mixed blessing. It looks pretty, but it makes commuting extremely difficult since no one out here, the city support staff included, is prepared for this amount of snowfall.

I tried my best to have a nice Christmas. The stroll to the park helped. It was nice to stroll around in the serene snowy fields which were giant white fluffy canvases ready to be rolled around in and shaped. It was as if I ran into a giant piece of blank paper on which I could write a new story and for the briefest of moments be free to think happy thoughts. Heck, the clouds managed not to spoil the moment by letting the warm winter rays of the sun to shine through. And as it often happens (more like everyday), in the middle of all that fun, I started to miss someone very dear to me and wished she could have been there to share that brief moment of joy with me. As I was leaving the park, my brother told me to stop because he found a bottle in the snow and when I turned around I saw the name "JENNY" written in the snow.

Although some kid probably wrote that in the snow, I would like to believe that maybe Forrest Gump was there and he wrote what he thought was the most beautiful name in the whole wide world because he missed her as he always does. The reference summed up my feelings perfectly and I could even imagine Gump himself saying this "Even in the middle of all that Christmas fun, I thought about Jenny." The writing in the snow gave me a good laugh. It was as if some supernatural being knew how I felt and pointed it out to me. However at the same time, it made me miss "Jenny" even more.

Anyhow, that's all I had to say about Christmas this year. I hope everyone had a nice warm Christmas!

I'm working on a bigger post about the year and will post later when I have time to finish it.

Cheerios!

Listening:

Sigur Ros - Heim/Hvarf
Thursday/Envy - Split EP
Dustin Kensrue - This Good Night is Still Everywhere
The Gaslight Anthem - '59 Sound
Mono & World's End Girlfriend - Palmess Prayer/Mass Murder Refrain
Envy - Insomniac Doze
Thrice - Red Sky EP

Reading:

Physics and Chemistry textbooks..... yeah.....

An uncertain future in an uncertain world

This past Tuesday, Canadians had their 3rd federal election in roughly 4 years and by the time the last ballots were counted in the wee hours of the following morning, we voted in another Conservative Minority government. Unfortunately, voter turnout was a pathetic 59% and we'll never know what might have happened if all eligible voters had gone to the polls. I'm not only disappointed that so many of my fellow Canadians did not turn up to vote, but I'm also disappointed in the way we voted.

I'm disappointed that Canadians seem to be putting their wallets ahead of the environment and their children's and grandchildren's futures. I still think Stephane Dion and the Liberals had a good sound plan for dealing with climate change in their Greenshift plan, except the only problem was it called for a new Carbon Tax and most Canadians, without understanding the entire plan, condemned it because it had a new tax. If most of them had bothered looking up the plan and reading it, they would've realized that it would've been offset by income tax cuts. Global warming is real and most people are too ignorant to realize that its impact is very immediate - large hunks of polar ice in the Arctic Ocean and Anarctica are melting and breaking off ice shelves as you read. It saddens me that people can't put aside religious, economic, social and political differences to tackle this environmental crisis. I think those of us who are knowledgable on the topic of Global Warming must continue to educate those who do not understand the issue and perhaps then more Canadians, and hopefully citizens of other countries, will ask themselves "What is the point of having a steamrolling economy when we have destroyed our only home?". Most argue that the Greenshift and sudden "fixes" for the environment will damage or destroy the economy. However, as I stated above, what good is the economy if we have no home? Do people not realize that this is not only an opportunity to help correct our environmental wrongs of the past BUT also an opportunity to progress humanity towards a green economy of the future?

Canada has the brilliant minds and the technological know-how to become global leaders in the green economy of the future. If we "shift" now, it may hurt our economy in the immediate future, but in the long run, we'll be ready to provide and sell the technology we develop and our expertise to other nations who are making their shifts. I just wished more people could be a little more selfless and have a little more foresight, then maybe we wouldn't be in the pickle that we're in now.

Anyhow, that's my sleep-deprived rant of the day before I go to bed.

One last thing... uncertainty in our futures... sometimes I feel I'm cursed or something. It seems like everyone I care about goes away... more on that later though.

Listening:

Nightwish - Dark Passion Play
Senses Fail - Life is not a Waiting Room
Thrice - Vheissu

Reading:

My Years as Prime Minister - Jean Chretien (re-reading)
Neverwhere - Neil Gaiman
Why Do Men Have Nipples? - Mark Leyner and Billy Goldberg, M.D.

No matters what happens now...

The other day at work, I was talking to a co-worker about Radiohead and I mentioned that I really liked "Videotape", but ironically I haven't listened to it since I picked up In Rainbows nearly a year ago. So tonight, I decided to give it the album a spin and "Videotape" seems to be the perfect conclusion to an album, and I taught myself the song on piano. The lyrics are quite depressing... will we ever find the perfect day so we won't be afraid anymore? I guess, I should rephrase that as "will I ever find the perfect day so I won't have to be afraid...?"



When I'm at the pearly gates
This'll be on my videotape
My videotape

When Mephistopheles is just beneath
And he's reaching up to grab me

This is one for the good days
And I have it all here
In red blue green
Red blue green

You are my centre when I spin away
Out of control on videotape
On videotape

This is my way of saying goodbye
Because I can't do it face to face
Or talking to you after it's too late, from my videotape

No matter what happens now
I won't be afraid
Because I know today has been the most perfect day I've ever seen.

会いたいのに見えない波に押されて, また少し遠くな.

会いたいのに見えない波に押されて, また少し遠くな.

Courage and peace in the face of defeat

This is not an exaggerated tale of an old man finding courage and peace in the face of defeat. It does not involve an epic battle between an old man, a marlin and later sharks. Instead, it is simply a tale of an ordinary old man, accepting and finding peace as he loses his courageous fight with cancer.

Three years ago, as he was diagnosed with terminal non-small cell carcinoma in his lungs, the hopelessness and fear that emanated from his face will forever be etched into my memories. His prognosis was not good and the old man was initially given two years to live, but it then dwindled to a year and finally down to three months as he seemed to have lost hope and became burdened with the thoughts of death. However, just as everything seemed hopeless, he tried a new doctor and the doctor gave him a new anti-cancer drug. Soon, his condition stabilized and his cancer was eventually controlled; it was not cured, but for the time it was not spreading or growing. Instead of three months, the old man has now lived for three years.

But as it often is in life, all things must come to an end, and the old man's cancer now stopped responding to the medicine and the doctors had let him know that there is nothing left they could do for him and that he'll have three to four months left. I was saddened by the news and went to visit the old man. We talked about recent events, the Olympics, my plans for the future, and other things an old man would ask a young man. Unlike three years ago when he was told for the first time that he would have three months to live where he looked hopeless and defeated, something had changed about him. Three years later, as he was again told that he will have three to four months to live and this will probably be it because there's medically nothing more they can do to help him, hopelessness and defeat cannot be seen in his face. Instead, even with his hostile predicament, he exuded an air of serenity and peace that I've never seen in another human being before. It appears as though in the three years that medical science has afforded him, he has come to accept his condition and has come to peace with himself. And though he appears to have accepted his eventual defeat, there is such courage in his eyes as he awaits it.

He's no superhero, but gracefully and peacefully finding courage in the face of defeat requires an awful lot of valor and dignity. I have learned many lessons from this old man, but these are perhaps some of the most important ones in life.

Where's the cure for the bored and lonely?

Could I beg of myself the blame
maybe a little more -
stretch to my neck,
and I could see above it all.
Days go so slow,
I'm finding time with no devotion.

We prance around unfavorably,
where's the cure for
the bored and lonely.
If not for you,
there's no glory
in stargazing battles
of the bored and lonely.

Feel this night
an ending,
an entrance in sight
I know how to feel two circuits.

Saints and sinners

The stabbing and beheading of the young man on the Greyhound bus was indeed tragic and unnecessary. My condolences to the family and friends of the victim - no one deserves to go like that. The unfortunate event, however, has given me some reminders about life and society in general.

In the hours after the event took place with news spreading like wild fire, I saw the headlines on CBC's homepage. I'll admit that after reading it, I was enraged that something of this nature happened and I perceived the suspect as some sort of deranged monster that probably deserves to be treated the same way he treated his victim. Comment after comment in the comments area of the CBC page for this story spoke of capital punishment or how the suspect must be deranged. Reading these comments and due to the way the story was reported, I too began to feel like I was agreeing with the web users who had commented.

However, today when I read the developments of the story and there was a picture of the murderer dressed in a blue prisoner's vest with his head down walking out of the courthouse, it put the human aspect of the man back into my head. It made me remember that although this man is probably 100% guilty, we need to hear his story and see what his psychiatric assessment says. I reminded myself that I should not pass judgment on anyone before their story is heard, no matter how right or wrong it might be. The fact that the suspect looked like any other person that could be walking down the street made me remember something a wise old man once told me when I was a child:

"Everyone has the ability to be a monster or a savior, a saint or a sinner, the devil or Buddha. It is only the choices we make and how we control ourselves."

Although, we do not know the story until the investigation is completed, charges laid and the suspect tried, he might well be a normal person that just snapped. Even if that's not the case, we should be kind, loving and caring for one another to make sure nobody snaps. And if he does turn out to be someone who has mental illness, society should be better educated on mental illnesses so we can provide such individuals with the help they need in order to prevent such sad and disgusting acts.

Solar Plexus

For the past 6 weeks, every night as I have tried to fall asleep, I always thought the same thoughts. I've even had similar dreams for the past 6 weeks and more infrequently, the same dream for the past 4 years. Now that I live in the aftermath of having that dream shattered. As confused and unsure as I am about everything outside of academia, this was one of the only things I was never confused about, and yet this belief of mine is probably wrong. Oh life, why do you have to deal repeated blows to my head? Life always seems to happen like that, just when you start thinking "maybe everything will be alright now," it punches you in the solar plexus and you're left winded on the ground trying to pick yourself up.

Get busy living, or get busy dying.

It really comes down to a simple choice. Get busy living or get busy dying...

forgive me dear, for I am a fool...

I like many who have come and gone before me, have had amazing people, love and happiness right under my nose yet have failed to recognize that in my quest to find whatever it is I'm looking for. The realization that we already have what we're looking for right before our very eyes often escape us...

Siddhartha said: "What could I say to you, Venerable One? Perhaps that you are seeking too hard? That you seek so hard that you do not find?"

"What do you mean?" asked Govinda.

"When someone seeks," said Siddhartha, "then it easily happens that his eyes see only the thing that he seeks, and he is able to find nothing, to take in nothing because he always thinks only about the thing he is seeking, because he has one goal, because he is obsessed with his goal. Seeking means having a goal. But finding means: being free, being open, having no goal. You, Venerable One, may truly be a seeker, for, in striving toward your goal, you fail to see certain things that are right under your nose."

Caged birds...

Sometimes it makes me sad, the thought of you being gone. I have to remind myself that some birds aren't meant to be caged, their feathers are just too bright. And when they fly away, the part of me that knows it was a sin to lock them does rejoice, but still, the place I live in is just that much more drab and empty with them gone. I think I'll just miss you...

Climate Change, Carbon Taxes, Global Warming, Greenshifts...

All of the above reminds me of "Child of Dust"

Dear prodigal, you are my son and I
supplied you not your spirit, but your shape.
All Eden's wealth arrayed before your eyes;
I fathomed not you wanted to escape.

And though I only ever gave you love,
like every child you've chosen to rebel.
Uprooted flowers and filled the holes with blood;
Ask not for whom they toll, the solemn bells.

A child of dust, to mother now return;
For every seed must die before it grows.
And though above the world may toil and turn,
No prying spades will find you here below.

Now safe beneath their wisdom and their feet,
Here I will teach you truly how to sleep.

Salvation lies within...

Today I came across a blog entry on the CBC about how it's the end of the road for Hillary Clinton's bid for the Democratic presidential candidacy after her loss in North Carolina. I think one of the comments to the blog was better than anything I've read covering the primaries. The author of the comment wrote:

"Oh fellow Americans - we all want hope. But that comes from within ourselves - no one can give it to us - NOT OBAMA, NOT HILARY NOR MC CAIN. Hope in someone else isn't going to feed your families or prevent you from losing your income or for that matter making more income, hope isn't going to stop the outrageous government spending, etc. Hope is necessary, but instead of putting all your hopes in another person - you may want to put it into yourselves."

I suppose this as true in today's troubled world as it was back in the early days of humankind before there were Gods or organized systems of government. The comment reminded me of the phrase "Salvation lies within.", and made me think of how true it is today. In good times or bad times, salvation lies within ourselves, we should not hope for the government to make everything better for us. As the author of the comment pointed out, you might as well put hope in yourself and save yourself like Andy Dufresne in the Shawshank Redemption.

Hypocrites and their pseudo-environmentalism

I was fortunate enough to have friends in different cities who helped organized bits and pieces of the Earth Hour event, so they deserve a pat on the back for activism and raising awareness for global warming and energy conservation. However, this is not the reason I'm writing today. I'm not here to criticize the event itself or the organizers who had no control over this issue at all.

What I'm talking about are the bandwagon-jumping hypocrites that tried to, dare I use the term, 'harass' others into dimming their lights with them. Although I give them credit for participating in the event, the hypocrites that harassed me relentlessly to turn off my lights had totally missed the point about the event and in some ways only participated to assuage their guilt for their massive energy consumption and carbon footprints.

The harassment came in many forms, including but not limited to, e-mail, MSN messages, Facebook messages, even text messages. What bothered me the most though, was the content of the messages that I received and it gave me the idea that they totally missed the point about the event while crucifying others that for whatever reason did not participate. One such message was so blatantly stupid and littered with signs of bandwagon jumping that I was disgusted.

"Dim the lights! ... David Suzuki will be proud."

When did making David Suzuki proud have anything to do with energy conservation? That's totally besides the point. The Earth's environment is what we're all trying to conserve, not David Suzuki's ego.

The aftermath of the whole thing was sickening. One such individual that harassed me about Earth Hour had glorified herself as an environmentalist due to her participation when she did not realize her own hypocrisy since she has no interest in public transportation and drives everywhere by herself. It is comical how this individual crucified people who did not turn off their lights for that one hour when she chooses to live a nocturnal lifestyle which ironically means she wakes up at night and ends up turning all her lights on when everyone else would be asleep with their lights off.

The point of this rant is that you can't turn off your lights for an hour one day in a year at 8pm and tell yourself you're helping the planet out while hopping in your 300hp SUV, driving everywhere when you could just as easily take public transportation. That's just hypocrisy and it makes me sick. The point of Earth Hour was to raise awareness, and considering the number of people that jumped on the bandwagon it seems to have achieved that goal. So now that you have the awareness, you're supposed to change your lifestyles to do your part to help the environment. If we sincerely want to help out with environmental conservation we each need to do our part and that isn't jumping on a bandwagon to lessen your guilt when you drive anywhere or over-consume.

And helping the environment includes, but is not limited to, some simple lifestyle changes that aren't overly inconvenient:

• Replace all your incandescent light bulbs (at least the ones you use most often) with compact fluorescent light bulbs.

• Washing your clothes with COLD WATER.

• Reduce air conditioning use in the summer and reduce heating in the winter by dressing warmly.

• Turn off all electronics when not using them.

• Unplug electronics if you will not be using them again for a while.

• Dry your clothes on a clothesline instead of using the dryer. I think clothes smell better when they've been sun dried :P.

• Use less hot water - ie. when washing dishes or install a low-flow shower head.

• Install a programmable thermostat to turn off your heater or air conditioner during the day when no one is home. If you don't want to install a programmable thermostat, you could also turn off your air conditioning or heater every morning before you leave to work or school.

• Recycle and reuse AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE. Manufacturing requires electricity and many of our products are manufactured in parts of the world where electricity is generated from coal-fire power plants.

• Buy recycled paper products. This reduces the number of trees that need to be cut and helps maintain photosynthesis which gives us oxygen and converts carbon dioxide into biomass.

• Think global, EAT LOCAL. Support local farm markets and buy locally grown goods, this way it cuts down on the transportation required to ship the food. A good book to read about this is 100-Mile Diet: A year of local eating by two local Vancouverites James MacKinnon and Alisa Smith.

• Walk or take public transportation whenever possible.

• If you must drive, make sure your tires are properly inflated to the right pressure.

• RECYCLE ELECTRONICS AND OLD BATTERIES PROPERLY. THEY DO NOT BELONG IN THE GARBAGE, AS MANY CIRCUIT BOARDS CONTAIN TOXIC MATERIALS.

That's all I could think of off the top of my head.

You could also write your local, provincial and federal government letters to get them to enforce strict emission laws.

If you really want to help the planet, those are the things you can do and I could honestly say I've done all that I've listed above, including writing the letters.

Saving the planet requires more than one simple act for one hour.

... oh one more thing. Please don't go around crucifying people who for one reason or another didn't participate in some token event when they do more than you ever have, and this extends beyond environmentalism. Damn hypocrites.